I’ll Be The One

I ‘re-found’ a song today which fits perfectly in with how I am feeling. I am not sure how I ever lost this song. It is on Powderfinger’s first album.

When you are set to throw in your hand
When you are far from home
When what you believe is buried in your hands
When you feel outgrown
I’ll be the one to pick you up again
When you decide you’ve had enough of it
I’ll be the one
I’ll be the one
When your speech is slow
When your eyes are closed
When you feel betrayed
When your heart is frayed
When your feet are cold
When your sights are low
I’ll be the one to pick you up again
When you decide you’ve had enough
When you’re set to throw it in

I wish that I was that person for someone. I try hard to be there for Riot Grrrl especially because she has a lot going on, but I think I fail a lot of the time. I am trying to spend more time with her. Not because I think she needs me, but because I like spending time with her & I should make time. Especially if what she has been saying is true; she is going to live in Darwin when she has finished her degree. I am not afraid that she will, I am happy that she has found ‘home’ but I think I should make the most of our friendship while she is still here.
She gave me back our book today. Some of the things she said were surprising – she has discovered that someone she knew did not die the way she had been told (in his sleep). That he shot himself in the bathtub & was not found for what sounds like weeks which means that he had absolutely no dignity left. In my opinion it is what he deserves.
When she spoke to her mum about it all, her mum said, “I hope he burns in Hell.” That is fair enough I think, but Riot Grrrl said “God forgives & he’s probably in heaven”. I’m not going to stop her believing that but, in my opinion, if God existed, there is no way in Hell that what that man did can be forgiven. I think Riot Grrrl has to come to peace with it, but forgiveness does not come into that equation. That man should spend eternity having to live with what he has done to her. He should have to be tortured for what he has done. There is no forgiveness for such a crime. If God forgives things like that then there is absolutely no point in trying to be good & worry about any of it because he is just going to forgive you. Riot Grrrl isn’t the hypocrite here, God is.

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